You can’t be anyone else but yourself

CC Image Courtesy of mrshawnliu | Flickr

It is human nature to seek out others’ opinions and approval, however, we should be choosy about who we ask feedback from.  Picking out random people to give us honest, helpful feedback on our work might create the adverse effect of making us feel insecure about what we have done.  This often leads to weeks of writer’s block, inability to produce any art, insecurity or self-doubt.

People have a tendency to compartmentalize people. Put everyone in a box and put labels on each one. Some are especially quick to point out what one should or shouldn’t do so that everyone will be just like them.

It isn’t uncommon therefore to hear one being labelled a party girl; therefore, it is a shock if she cooks.  Gasp! Or if she paints, double gasp!  That’s such a solitary activity.  Or consider the new arrival to the expat scene, the wife of a hotel general manager who sees it unnecessary to be part of the ladies expat wives who have long lunches most of the time because she chooses to do volunteer work instead.  Comments like “oh she’s weird!” or “she thinks she’s better than everyone else” start flying around in circles — just because she’s trying to do something she has put her heart in.

The thing is, we may share common interests with some people, but we are all different, and we should celebrate these differences, not smother them.

While there is indeed a general code of conduct that everyone should adhere to in order for society to remain civilised, like being polite to each other; there is absolutely no need to listen to the critics who are quick to comment discouragingly on your choices, your actions, your work or tweet, just because it doesn’t fit into their expectations of what or how things “should be”.

The people who truly know you are the ones who love you the most, and they don’t have any labels for you. They know when you’re being crazy, or when you’re being philosophical.  They know when you’re passionate about that which you do, and they know when you’re goofing around.  They know all the colourful sides to your personality.  And they accept you for your multiple personalities.

And it’s okay to polarize people too.  Some will agree with your actions, others will hate it.  Some will love your work, others won’t.  Some will find your products exquisite, and others will say it’s plain (f)ugly!

At day’s end, you will have to live with yourself.  And if you choose to go against the tide, it’s all right.

So do the work that makes your heart sing.  Write the piece or create the art that makes you look up to the skies with that big great smile, that lights up your face and makes you look at the world with conviction and say:  “Today, I have been most faithful to myself.”